Telling Stories

02/08/08 09:54

I’ve discovered something really lovely.... As a result of my study and practice of iRest I’ve become less interested in stories. By stories I mean those thoughts that I have about myself and others. I can easily find myself having fictional conversations, dreaming up what another person felt or intended and then (in my head) reacting to it as if it were true. This is really a form of story-making.

One of these stories (there are really only a few basic stories) is about what will happen in the future. Most of the time when I choose to be stressed I am in the midst of imagining a fearful future and spending time planning how to avoid that dreadful future. Have you ever noticed that defenses create the circumstances they seek to avoid? That is, we bring to ourselves the very thing we try to avoid. Both of these are excellent reasons to give up preventing. Insurance is a manifestation of this. We pay for insurance against an imagined future loss. This can be the same in relationship; imagining a future loss you might decide to play it safe (insurance) and then give less or be less involved. In the end you find yourself alone because you were emotionally unavailable both to yourself and the other. There is great relxation in giving up imagining and defending. If you wish, take a moment to notice the now free of fearful anticipation.

Another of these stories is about what happened in the past. perhpas its a memory of childhood and all the things that “went wrong.” What would it be like to imagine no past, no childhood, no childhood traumas or losses. How do you feel about this moment?

I’m now more interested in what is now and living fully in the moment, undefended from my imagination and completely available to the now.