A
Credo for My Relationships with Others
You and I are in a
relationship which I value and want to keep. We are also two
separate persons with our own individual values and needs.
So that we will better know and understand what each of us values
and needs, let us always be open and honest in our
communication.
When you are experiencing a problem in your life, I will try to
listen with genuine acceptance and understanding in order to help
you find your own solutions rather than imposing mine. And I want
you to be a listener for me when I need to find solutions to my
problems.
At those times when your behavior interferes with what I must do to
get my own needs met, I will tell you openly and honestly how your
behavior affects me, trusting that you respect my needs and
feelings enough to try to change the behavior that is unacceptable
to me. Also, whenever some behavior of mine is unacceptable to you,
I hope you will tell me openly and honestly so I can try to change
my behavior.
And when we experience conflicts in our relationship, let us agree
to resolve each conflict without either of us resorting to the use
of power to win at the expense of the other's losing. I respect
your needs, but I also must respect my own. So let us always strive
to search for a solution that will be acceptable to both of us.
Your needs will be met, and so will mine—neither will lose, both
will win.
In this way, you can continue to develop as a person through
satisfying your needs, and so can I. Thus, ours can be a healthy
relationship in which both of us can strive to become what we are
capable of being. And we can continue to relate to each other with
mutual respect, love and peace.
Dr. Thomas Gordon ©1978
Gordon Training International
www.gordontraining.com
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